He is not the God of the dead, but of the living

Why is it that the hardest thing to get over in any serious loss is the "what might have been's"? I mentioned yesterday that I spent an exhausting weekend "being present" with people I love in this quagmire, and I remember it being the hardest thing to get through when grieving myself.

We have these pictures, these ideals, in our hearts of the way things are "supposed" to be, and when for some reason they don't pan out we are devastated by the inability to see past the past. This is especially difficult if our dream is destroyed by someone else, say through a betrayal, divorce, murder, accident, or other horrible turn of events, or ourselves through addictions or other sin.


In today's gospel, Jesus instructs the Sadducees on resurrection. I love this section for several reasons. I wonder how much spiritual effort it required to be actively present, in a healing, compassionate, truthful, supportive way for those Jesus came in contact with, especially those who were so damaged by sin, their own or at the hands of others. Was He in turn discouraged and hopeful?

I think of the disciples, whom Jesus lived with and touched and taught. Although they were often blind and proud and faithless, at least they were willing and obedient. It might have been in the most minute baby steps, slow as molasses, but they made steady progress.

On the other hand, how exhausting the Sadducees pride and error and lack of faith must have been. What did he do with those who writhed around in abysses of loss, pain and sin but simply did not have the faith to see beyond it? This is the hardest part to me, sensing the immediacy of the turning point for better or much worse, but watching the inability or unwillingness of someone you love to move forward for good.

Ultimately, this section of Scripture reminds me that when we have done ugly things to others in our brokenness, and when the worst has been done to us, to our dreams, to the ones we love, God is still not defeated. His healing can flow, because the worst has been done, and from this pile of sin, pain, and destruction, God steps out to meet us.

We need not be afraid of what anyone can do to us, what anyone has done to us, or even what we may have done to another. "The Lord is with me. I will not fear what man can do to me" (Ps. 118:6).

God is not defeated by any of it. "He is not the God of the dead, but of the living." We need not stagnate and expire in the anxiety that all is lost, that what we had hoped for is gone forever. Something else is simply waiting on the horizon for us to take His hand and be alive enough to see it.

Sometimes, however, when they are too weak to reach out, we must hold His hand for them, so that as they reach out to us, they touch Him too.